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Moving On from a Relationship, Breakup or Divorce
By Susie and Otto Collins,
Relationship Coaches
If
there's one thing we know for sure, it's that
a relationship breakup or divorce usually
causes a complete shake-up in a person's life.
If there's any relationship advice we'd like
to give it's to know that you can move on
after a breakup and you can enjoy your life
once again.
No
matter when your breakup happened, you may
not realize that your future success in relationships
is directly related to how much you learn
from that breakup and whether and how you
move forward in your life.
As
Relationship Coaches, we've discovered several
important steps to healing from a breakup
and how to move on. We've discovered there
are things that you must deal with in order
to heal, let go and move on to creating the
life you want.
To
help you to move on after your relationship
break up or divorce, here are a few steps
that you can follow to get your life back:
1: Give yourself the space and time to grieve the relationship without staying in your grief. When there has been a relationship breakup, it's often tempting to stay in your grief-to play music that reminds you of your old partner, to visit places where you went together as a couple, and to constantly think about that other person. If you find yourself doing this and it is causing you pain, stop doing it. Take time to cry everyday if you need to but don't keep yourself stuck in it by focusing on what was.
2:If
you had issues with jealousy in the relationship
that broke up, you need to overcome jealousy
before you get in a new relationship. You
may have been in a series of past relationships
where your partner cheated on you. You may
have low self-esteem issues. You may have
had a habit of flirting with people other
than your partner to get your partner's attention.
Whatever the reason, jealousy eventually tends
to destroy relationships and the time to heal
it is now as you examine what happened in
your last relationship and take responsibility
for healing within yourself.
3: If infidelity was an issue in your previous relationship, whether you or your partner were the one who was unfaithful, make sure that you take the time to figure out how the relationship went wrong and what you might have done differently. In many cases, affairs would never happen if people understood how each person sabotages the relationship. Because people don't take the time to figure out what their part in the relationship breakup was, when they get into new relationships, those relationships often end in break ups and divorce also. Take the time and energy to find out how the relationship took a wrong turn.
4: Learn how to trust--yourself and others. When there has been a breakup and you have been hurt, it's often difficult to open your heart again. Take the time to begin learning to trust again and that begins with learning to trust yourself first. It doesn't mean rushing into dating again but it does mean learning to trust yourself and your ability to discern what it is that you want. Take some time and decide what you do want.
5: In order to heal and move on from a relationship breakup, you have to begin envisioning what you want for a new romantic relationship and how you want romance to show up in your life. While we certainly don't encourage you to get back into a relationship until you've done some introspection, part of the process is deciding what you want. We've found that when you have a clear idea about exactly what you want in a new relationship, that type of relationship comes to you and your perfect partner will show up. Many people feel that it isn't possible to attract a soul mate to you but we know that it is.
To
find out more about healing from a relationship
breakup or divorce, visit:
How
to Heal Your Broken Heart
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