Singles Dining Club, Victoria BC: Four Plus Four
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Communication Tips for Hitting
the Dating Scene
by Susie and Otto Collins,
Relationship coaches
Getting
back into the dating scene after been in a
marriage or committed relationship that ended
can be a challenge and frankly quite frightening.
You might have a lot of questions like "What
do I say?" "When is it right to
become intimate?" "What if he/she
doesn't like me?"
All
of those thoughts can be swirling around in
your mind as you venture out, accepting that
first date with someone.
Here are some ideas to help you...
1. Accept responsibility for your part in past relationships that haven't worked out the way you wanted them to work out. Look for reoccurring patterns that will show you where you need to heal and then take steps to heal them. We find that when you see what you could have improved in past relationships and then take the steps to making the changes that you need to make, you begin to have far greater happiness in your life.
In
past relationships, did you assume and not
listen to your partner? Did you not speak
your truth? Did you withdraw and close down
or did you get angry when things got tough?
Find the habits that you created in past relationships and vow to yourself to stop them and communicate differently.
2. Know that there's no such thing as failure in relationships, only experiences that you may not have enjoyed. Identify what you want and don't want in a relationship and partner. This is important for you to know what type of relationship or partner you want. Make a list and choose your dates accordingly. While you never want to close yourself off from new experiences, when you accept a date there should be some reason that you'd like to get to know this person better and it should be in alignment with what you want as your experience.
3.
Be yourself and no one else. One of the biggest
pitfalls people fall into when they date is
pretending to be someone else or want something
else that the other person wants. Find out
who you are and then communicate from that
place.
4.
Be happy now. Find joy in being with the people
who you are in relationship with now and find
ways to bring happiness to others. When you
are in a good-feeling place and enjoying life,
you will attract others to you who you may
actually want to be with.
Relax, be yourself and communicate from a clear place within you. If you'd like to learn more communication skills, visit:
Communication
Magic
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