Singles Dining Club, Victoria BC: Four Plus Four

Fun, Safe, Relaxed. Make new friends. Find that special someone.

(An article from the Peninsula News. Diane Lair, the founder has passed on ownership. Four Plus Four continues to bring you the same excellent service.)

MEETING NEW PEOPLE WITH FUN AND FOOD 

August 2005

Singles of all ages have found getting together over a meal can produce friendships – and sometimes a little bit more 

Judy Reimche
Peninsula News Review Editor

Diane Lair taught 13 year olds for 33 years before retiring.  “Then I did he golf thing, and I did the volunteer thing, but it wasn’t enough,” she said. 

About 2 years ago, the North Saanich resident was sitting at home watching Oprah.  The show was about a service called Eight at 8, where four woman and four men were selected by a service to meet and dine together at a nice restaurant.   It was a safe, less nerve-wracking way to meet other people.

She started with a handful of people each of whom went through an interview before the decision was made to have them join the service.  She still does that 30 minute interview with her clients, even now that the membership has reached 1150- and it is still climbing.

Lair determines the eight diners at each table, where the dinners will take place, and then makes all the arrangements.  Sometimes she matches four men and four women sometimes three and three. “After doing this for a while, I’ve found that six is often a better number to put together.  Somehow, six is a more comfortable mix, “she said. Leaning slightly forward, her enthusiasm for her project, spilling over into the room.  “I try to have a common thread around the table-maybe they all like outdoor activities , or they have similar tastes --- 90 per cent of the time, it works.”

After dinner, the hostess, who has met the group a the restaurant and helped break the ice, gives each a list of first names and telephone numbers of all the diners at the table.  “At first it’s kind of strange to go to a restaurant and meet a lot of people you don’t know,” said Alfons, a 30-something member. “I was pretty nervous.  Now the nervousness is gone.  You meet such great people.  “At the back of their minds they are probably thinking “there’s possibility I’m going to find someone who suits me, someone who will grow into more than a friendship.  But if it does, that’s a bonus.  If not, I’ve met great and had some nice dinners.  It gets me out.”

These dinners are not dates’, stresses Lair.  It’s a chance to meet other people who want more socialization. 

“I tell them over and over again, “Dial the number!” That’s what this is about. Call; tell the other people you enjoyed the evening.  If there is someone who seemed interesting, or you clicked with, ask them out for a coffee, a walk, just something to get you together on your own.  If things seem to work, have a date.  If not, then say thanks for a nice time and move on. 

PEOPLE PARTICIPATING IN FOUR PLUS FOUR DINING CLUB, often find someone they would like to see one-on-one.  If not, it’s a great way to make new friends. 

So far she’s had three weddings and several couples who have entered into long term relationships.

“But this is about much more.  We have people who have formed book clubs, pub nights, hors d’oeuvre nights --- people who had met at dinners and became friends collected a number of people from their various lists and got together for a Canada Day celebration,” Lair said.  

As a Four plus Four member, Debbie knows just how it works.  She started going to the dinners to meet someone she could share time with and maybe even her life.  “At 50, it’s not easy to meet people,” she said.  “I met someone at my second dinner.”  While she began seeing the man soon after, she still attended a few more dinners.  By the fifth one, they both decided they would just like to get to know each other and have put their dining memberships on hold --- another benefit Lair offers. 

Margaret is new to her community and said “it’s hard to meet people in her age group.”  A widow for five years, she said “it’s all about balance.”  “It’s nice to be able to sit and have a conversation with men.  It’s fine to talk to women --- I can have the company of women anytime.  But men talk about different things; they have a different point of view.”  Like many others, she’s pleased to be able to meet so many people who come from different backgrounds and life experiences.  

“You’re going to meet ‘real’ people” Lair said.  “I’ve met people who are reluctant to try a singles club of any kind: “Will I fit in?”  “Will I be able to contribute to the conversation?”  “They worry about their looks.”  She raised her hands in a gesture of despair and shook her head.

“Men can meet wonderful women.  These are real people; we all have cellulite.  We have grey hair, some of us.  But we can have conversations and enjoy one another’s company. “The biggest surprise about this whole venture is how much fun it is.  I’m shocked at the success it’s become.  Who would have thought after all those years teaching 13 year olds, that I’d be having so much fun?  The people are what make this so great.”

She loves to think of successes, some of which were totally unpredictable.  “I had one guy who went to 28 dinners.  He told me, “I know she’s out there!”  Finally at one dinner, he looked across the table and said to himself:  There she is!  “They clicked, and now they’re in Love.” 

For more information,   or call (250) 385-Dine (3463).